Lindsey is scared, frustrated, and overwhelmed, all at the same time. Her marriage is struggling, her house is a mess, she can’t get her eating habits under control, and she feels like a failure of a mother.

Life is hard for Lindsey. But it should’t be, because on paper, it looks good. House, marriage, kids, cars, clothes, all the necessities one would need, and then some. She knows that her life is envied by others, yet he finds it oddly unfulfilling.

On the outside she looks like a success, but inside she’s a secret inner mess.

Do you ever wish it were easier to influence others? To have them see your perspective?

By influence I mean, communicating with your kids, spouse, potential customer or anyone who needs to see your point of view.

To be successful at changing someone’s perspective you must be tactful and likeable.

This means being respectful with your demeanour, gentle with your words and soft in your tone. Only then will your message be heard and your point of view will be considered.

Stress feels different for everyone. Some get flustered, feel rushed and experience overwhelm.  For others, they're grumpy or angry. If you think about it, you don't usually go from zero to 100. Stress builds like a slowly-rising emotion. You can literally "feel" it coming onto you and slowly taking over.

Am I right? Or am I right?

Let me be honest with you. I have a lot of "stuff" on my shoulders. I woke up this morning with cat poop smeared all over the floor in my kids' room. Then I found dog pee in our kitchen. Financially, our tax bill is coming up next month and it's hefty. 

Our basement has drywall pieces and dust ALL over and it's been sitting like that for weeks as life has been too busy to get to clean it. Eww…

When you are put into an uncomfortable situation, you need to DECIDE to make the best of it and choose to have a good attitude anyway.

It's not pleasant to GROW, in fact, it often hurts when we are pushed to our limits. However, do know, in your apparent weakness, is when you're growing, that is, if you can hold onto joy and handle yourself well.   So stay strong, remain happy, and in keep yourself in control because character growth always rewards you with happy, healthy relationships.

There are two different kinds of people in this world. One who looks at life like this… Crap Happens = Crappy Result.

The other looks like this… Crap Happens + My Positive Response = A Positive Result. 

We all have them, we all know we should develop good ones but why is it so hard to do so? Let me show you a mindset to have that will make it easier on you to move forward.

Habits are like rockets. A rocket uses 90% of its fuel just getting through the atmosphere. This is due to earth's strong gravitation pull. This is the hardest part of the mission. Habits are like gravity, they pull you. You have to fight to break free from them or fight to create new ones as your old ways pull you back.

There was a time when torment was my closest companion. I disliked who I became and the situations I was facing. My mind was consumed with distress. I focused on the negative and I was acutely aware of just how powerless I was.

It's been over a decade since I've felt like this and with each passing year, my joy and peace deepens. This is because I have never stopped learning, growing and developing.  New knowledge creates new perspectives, thought patterns and ultimately new emotions and experiences.

I remember when I could barely get my butt off the couch..... but I KNEW I needed to feed on truth.

I’d listened to message after message and could FEEL strength rising up within me. Feeding on truth will breathe new life into you. It’ll give you a new perspective for your life and give you the strength to move forward.

Anyone who has a great marriage has one because creating one was important to them. They’ve made it a priority. They take action.

For real ... your marriage won’t grow if you don’t read, learn, listen and APPLY. This is a MUST. Non-negotiable.

The BIGGEST mistake I see couples making is this… They’re not prioritizing personal and relational growth. Giving up and settling is easier.

Marketing. When sharing a message with the world you don’t explain something once and expect that to get the job done. You must go over it again, and again, from slightly different angles and keep at it until the desired result it achieved.

Agitate. Rub it. Back and forth. Repeat.

Life is like this as well… You don’t work for a goal and give up after one shot. You give it a go, and if the desired result wasn’t achieved you go at it again, then again, shifting your position each time, getting closer with each pass. This is true for vacuuming, marketing, and life.

A strong individual will act intentional in those situations, not react based on emotions. If we make the conscious decision to hold our tongue or speak kind when tempted to be unpleasant, we will find people will often back down. They won’t continue to fight or attempt to arouse anger with you. When you respond to anger with anger, you fan a fiery flame. Without the added fuel to the fire – a potentially argumentative situation will die down.

A while ago Peter and I met someone really amazing. Let me tell you about him. Where to begin? Weather day or night, he is always willing to drop by. When we call on him, he’s there.

He much older and he knows a thing or two about life. He shares advice and when we take it, we benefit. It’s like he’s a guru in all areas with so much expertise.

It's amazing having a friend like him with so much inside knowledge. I will admit, he is the sole reason our marriage is great and business is successful. He’s well-off and blesses us continually, it’s overwhelming.

Don’t let everyday responsibilities burry your desires within. Life is too short to go from work to responsibilities, to obligations, to more work.... only to repeat this cycle. This is the fast track to burnout and frustration.

Did you know, by including things in your life that bring you passion and fulfilment, you’ll become MORE effective in your everyday responsibilities? Switching channels is something high-achievers understand as NECESSARY. No, it’s not good while you’re working. You don’t want to be distracted and breaking your focus there. But in your evenings, on the weekend, or even mid-day. STOP deep work, take a break from intensive thinking, and do something that is fun, uplifting and that makes you “come alive”.

Question: My husband and I are having communication problems. He always finds a way to turn the conversation and blames me. I usually ended up apologizing and taking responsibility for the problem. I am trying to changing this. I am so tired of not being heard.

What would you say would be the best way for me to deal with this?

Answer: One thing I’ve found to be helpful is to talk to my husband when we’re not in the middle of conflict.  To go to him about important things when we are on good terms. 

When emotions are running high or when we’re in the midst of a conflict, that is not the time for important conversations. The message I would want to convey would get lost behind my tone, attitude and disposition. 

What do you do when someone you are talking with makes statements such as: “You don’t care about me,” “you’re being disrespectful,” “you’re trying to control me,” or “you don’t really care about the relationship.”

Take your space and let them process the situation however they wish. You are not responsible for their opinion and as you’ve likely discovered, you can’t change it. However they respond is not your concern. You do not need to listen to someone putting guilt, shame and blame on you. You can politely remove yourself from the conversation and/or from the room. If need be, leave the house.

What I am about to share isn't easy, it requires effort, consistency and patience - but it's worth it. You have a choice. Everyone does.  Difficulties come to all, you get to decide which difficulties you will face. In difficult situations you can remain in them, or push through and overcome.  Will you remain in low self-esteem and insecurity? That's hard. Or will you choose to learn, grow and develop and do the work to overcome?

Both options are hard, but one hard comes to an end, the other remains indefinitely. 

There is no rule that says someone's bad attitude as to ruin yours.  You can keep your joy, despite what life (or other people) throw at you.  If people throw mud at you, get to the place where none of it will stick. (1 Peter 3, The Message)

True strength is holding onto joy when others are trying to steal it.  If everyone is in a good mood and treating you right, sure, you can keep your joy, that's easy, anyone can do that, no strength is needed here. But to keep your joy when all hell is breaking loose, wow, now that's admirable and rare. 

You have a conscious part of your brain and a subconscious part.  Your conscious is what you are aware of.  Your subconscious is what you are not aware of, this is where our reactions and feelings come from.  You do not have direct control of your subconscious. It does its thing and brings you along for the ride. The conscious part of your brain, on the other hand, you do have control over. 

The conscious part of your brain has the ability to override what's coming out of your subconscious.  This means you can re-wire yourself to think and act differently. 

The other day my 16-year-old had an opinion about something, I had a different one. We continued to state our sides trying to get the other to see our perspective.

Many times when a disagreement arises, a conclusion does not have to be made. If it’s a ‘small thing’, you don’t HAVE to reach an agreement.... it’s okay to disagree.

 Agree, to disagree, and move on.

They are entitled to their opinion, you are entitled to yours.

Flexible people can respect different opinions, appreciate them and STILL have a happy, healthy relationship.