Break Free From Insecurity

Are you exhausted fighting a never-ending battle with yourself?  Would you like that war to end?

If you're deeply rooted in insecurity, overcoming sounds unreal, impossible actually. I get it! I was there. I hurt so bad I remember thinking I'd willingly let someone gouge out my eyeballs if it meant taking the pain in my heart away. (For real, I thought this).

Well, I've got good news, I no longer suffer from this pain and I didn't even have to give up my eyesight. Let me share with you what I've learned.

But beware!

What I am about to share isn't easy, it requires effort, consistency and patience - but it's worth it. You have a choice. Everyone does.  Difficulties come to all, you get to decide which difficulties you will face. In difficult situations you can remain in them, or push through and overcome.  Will you remain in low self-esteem and insecurity? That's hard. Or will you choose to learn, grow and develop and do the work to overcome?

Both options are hard, but one hard comes to an end, the other remains indefinetely. Imagine two mountains in front of you.  One, the mountain of insecurity. The other, the mountain of happiness and victory. Which mountain will you choose to climb?

 You will not see results until you become sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You need to want success more than you want to hold onto your struggle! Some will say with their lips they want victory, but their actions state otherwise. If we want something we've never had, we need to do something we've never done.

So without further ado let me explain how to develop a better self-image.

If you want different fruit, you must plant different seeds. Hello!?!?! Let this sink in. 

The conceipt is simple once you understand the process.  No gardener plants tomato seeds and expects a watermelon. That would be silly. Our hearts and minds are no different. Everything you watch, listen to and think about is a seed that grows into a harvest.

Seeds don't produce immediately, they take time. Likewise the effects of what you are putting into your mind will not be seen till some time thereafter.   We can fill our minds with garbage yet reap the fruit of happiness, contentment and success? This is not logical.

Garbage in = garbage out.

Let me ask another question: How do you know which seeds will produce the fruit you desire? (I hope you realize we are NOT talking about gardening). Unless we have planted certain seeds and watched them produce a harvest we likely are unaware of what we are putting into ourselves. So which seeds should you plant and which new habits should you pick up? Before you get ahead of yourself, let's start by uprooting the weeds you don't want. Cut off the negative behaviour, negative TV shows, and the good-for-nothing music which speaks nothing but negativity and perversion. Realize certain entertainment and even friendships (yes, I went there) are poisonous.

Step 1 to increasing your self-worth

Realize what is poisoning your life and recognize where the negative mindsets are coming from.

Once we de-weed our heart and mind from negativity we need to intentionally sow positive seeds so reap a harvest of abundant blessings. Seek out positive messages, make time to read (listen to) uplifting books and find successful mentors to follow. As we surround ourselves with positive messages our perspective on ourselves and on our lives begins to change.

Step 2 to increasing your self-worth

Sow positivity into your life. 
As we become more aware of what is positive and what is negative we begin to make better decisions. This is a process that doesn't just happen overnight. I don't suspect anyone is going to wake up tomorrow and just stop watching their favorite TV they've been hooked on for years. Nor will you likely be quick to ditch those fun-wild-crazy and exciting friends that you know are just rotten (sorry, not sorry). If you are aware, that's the first step, then take small steps towards change. Even if the steps are small - you'll get there, just don't stop.

Planting positivity changes us, it changes us for the better. We begin to view life differently and see ourselves from a different perspective.

Your situation isn't the problem, your perspective is.

I was adamant that I would feel better about myself if I was only paper thin and disappeared when I turned to the side. (Obviously I'm exaggerating but you get the point). That may not necessarily be what your low self-worth is about, but that was mine. I was obsessed with being "skinny." The problem wasn't that I needed to lose weight, (I didn't need to) the problem was in my mind. The thinner I got, the more sick I became. The situation didn't need to change, I needed to change my perspective. Unfortunately, this is not something we can consciously decide, this is how we relate to life based on the person we have become.

How you perceive yourself (and your life) occurs subconscious based on the person you have become.

Today I weigh more than ever before. I'm saggier, wrinklier and older than I have ever been, yet I've never been happier. I've learned to love myself for who I am and what I can offer this world, as opposed to of getting my self-worth from my appearance. Finding fulfillment and purpose has greatly helped.

Step 3 to increasing your self-worth: Discover and fulfill your purpose

Life is boring when you aimlessly wander. Imagine life without a mission, living from day to day not knowing what tomorrow or the next year will bring. Oh, wait - this may be you. Do you need help?

Discover why you are here, what your purpose is and concentrate your effort of fulfilling that purpose. Holy smokes did I lose you? Am I talking too fast?

We all have a destiny and we will never truly be satisfied until we discover what this is.

Today, start small. Compile a list of things that move you to emotion. What angers you, what makes you cry what can't you stand? These may be clues to guide you to your destiny. What traits do you naturally exhibit what do others often say you are good at? What could you see yourself doing every day, whether or not you got paid for it? Relax, don't stress if you can't answer all these questions today. Keep pumping yourself with positive messages and in due season will discover what you were truly created for.

In closing keep in mind that poison kills. Make the effort to rid your life from negative influences; take it slow if need be, just keep making progress. Don't beat yourself up if you feel addicted to negative behaviour. Climbing mountains take effort, but the effort that is required will someday deliver a prosperous payoff. As you continue on this path towards health you'll find yourself thinking and acting differently, you'll be changing. You'll become more motivated, driven and you will begin to see your dreams and aspirations come to pass. This truly is a fight worth fighting.

Having a positive self-worth is absolutely necessary to discover who you were created to be.

So in closing I would like to leave you with one important question: Which hard will you choose?

If you would like to read more about my story and my struggles, you can do so HERE.