Use Stressful Situations to Grow
Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy your days without stress taking over? Let me show you how.
Stress feels different for everyone. Some get flustered, feel rushed and experience overwhelm. For others, they're grumpy or angry. If you think about it, you don't usually go from zero to 100. Stress builds like a slowly-rising emotion. You can literally "feel" it coming onto you and slowly taking over.
Am I right? Or am I right?
One Situation at a Time
In a suicide intervention class, I was taught to encourage individuals to just get through one day at a time. Face each situation individually and to make the right choice, just this time. And of course, to keep doing that with each situation that comes along.
I want to encourage you to do the same. Focus on one day at a time. One situation at a time. Make it your goal to master your emotions, just this once.
Prepare and Plan
When you know a difficult day is ahead, I want you to prepare ahead of time, in your mind. Decide how you will act and be intentional to follow through.
Tell yourself you...
" I will stay calm."
" I will not let my emotions get the best of me."
"I will do everything within my power to keep the peace."
" I will hang onto my joy."
"I will walk in love."
That's what I did yesterday while hauling my gang around town.
A Full Day
The other day I had errands to do. I considered leaving my kids at home but I decided to bring them. I did this knowing, full well, that I had a long day ahead. I did this because I knew there would be plenty of opportunities to exercise character development, both for them and for me, and we need opportunities to practise if we are going to get stronger.
Here is a quick review of how that day went.
Drove over an hour to bring my computer to the Apple Store.
Arrive only to be told my appointment was in 4 days, not THAT day.
Thankfully, they squeezed me in, an hour later.
I took my kids to the Lego store to pass some time.
Lo-and-behold, my 4-year-old climbs on a massive Lego piece just as I'm telling her not to.
My 7-year-old takes boxes off the shelf and waves them in front of a camera so he could see himself in live motion.
My 8-year-old and 13-year-old find a Lego table and quietly build. Thankfully.
Of course, my 3 youngest pull on me to BUY Lego, which didn't happen.
Then, washroom, before heading back to my appointment.
We arrive 10 min early. Oops.
The 5 of us wait with 3 chairs and 2 phones. (Talk about an opportunity to practise patience)
Then we get in line again. Of course, I'm holding my 4 kids back from running to the play area. (After all, there are only so many Ipads there)
Once in the kid's area, we see that 2 pads are already taken. So my youngest got the remaining one. (Her patience was thin by this point)
Here's the cool part...
Over the next 1/2 hour or so, while at my appointment, I witness my children take turns and share the Ipad.
Furthermore, I watched them willingly give it up for a new child that came along. (Proud mama moment)
While walking through the mall, I found myself often saying...
"Stay close"
"Hold hands"
"Don't run"
Now that we were done in the mall, now headed to Walmart.
It was surprisingly cold and windy, we had no jackets.
Because of this, I dropped my kids off by the doors while I parked.
They PROMISED to stand nice, hold hands and to wait patiently.
I parked and met them inside. They were lined up like perfect little angels. (Another proud moment)
While shopping Jeremiah got embarrassed by his younger siblings because they were being goofy and making strange sounds. (This is what a long, day for kids looks like)
While at the checkout, no one acted up. So that's an accomplishment worth mentioning.
Once home, as we unloaded the vehicle only to find the orange juice spilt all over the groceries and in the back of our truck. Not fun.
But despite the energy and effort, it took to keep these kids in line, I'd say we had a fantastic day. Our character was challenged, we were pushed to our limits, and we all grew stronger.
Why Things Went Well
I believe, a key to that day going well because I choose, beforehand, that I would be intentional with my actions and tone. I choose, before we even left the house, that I was not going to get frustrated no matter what happened or how the kids acted. I was prepared to use calm words, redirect my kids as needed, encourage delayed gratification and I expected patience from my children. I conquered the day head-on and won!
As we do this, each opportunity gets easier, but it starts with doing the right thing just this one time. Try just one situation and see how it goes.
Helping you become your best self. That's my goal.
Want to continue your personal growth journey?
Grab hold of my free teaching titled: Reduce Stress. Manage Overwhelm.
